The Year In Review

I must break from The Tinny Chronicles, since we managed to get a break from ‘The Tinny’ for a weekend. Last weekend was the (actual) first anniversary of the day Ryan and I married. I clarify “actual” because we went to the courthouse in Knoxville, TN on Friday, March 13th (yep, Friday the 13th), 2009, but didn’t mention it to anyone. We planned a big celebration and the ceremony to happen two months later in Fairhope, AL, on the eastern shore of Mobile – that place I call home.

Thanks to the timing of Ryan’s flight schedule we got to head back down to Fairhope to celebrate and reminisce our first year together. We decided to stay at The Grand Hotel in Point Clear, one of my most favorite places. This has been the longest winter in Knoxville, with a severe shortage of sunshine, lots of rain/snow and continued periods of cold.  So when we got to the Gulf Coast to find 70 degrees and abundant sunshine we were thrilled.

The Grand Hotel, with its massive moss-draped oaks covering the grounds, is steeped in long-standing traditions (like the daily 4:00 shooting of the cannon, pictured here) and lots of history. The place has been rebuilt several times over the last 150 years, most recently following the widespread devastation of Hurricane Katrina. One of our favorite things is sitting outside Bucky’s Birdcage Lounge, so named for Bucky who worked at the Grand for almost 60 years. There are several fire pits, with overstuffed wicker loungers gathered around them, where you can have a Mint Julep and watch the sun set over Mobile Bay.

We did this on Friday night, and began to discuss things we’d learned in the past year of marriage. The list is long but I cracked up when Ryan expressed that he’d learned to “just do the dishes and stop resisting.” I knew I’d wear him down eventually!

I also found it interesting when he said that with me he’d learned to negotiate price… on nearly everything. He said he never knew so many things that we buy in daily life were negotiable. To that end, learning to negotiate transcends financial transactions. We’ve learned to negotiate in our relationship, and understand the value of creating win-win and the detriment of zero-sum.

I heard a quote from Tony Robbins not long before we married that sticks with me every time we have a disagreement: “would you rather be right, or would you rather be in love?” Naturally I have to say I’m pretty sure those are not mutually exclusive because I’m certain there are many times that I am both in love AND right! But it’s a beautiful thing to remember when tempers are flaring and I’m feeling frustrated. With a simple decision I can change my outlook and we can be enjoying each other again. Aren’t arguments mostly pointless anyway?

I’ve learned to take life less seriously, to laugh more and worry less (among many other things). I’ve never met a person in my life who felt so little stress as Ryan. It’s not chance either… it’s a decision, and one we can all make every day. Most importantly, we’re learning to operate as a team, something my dear friend Michelle points out is an absolute necessity before we have kids, should we be blessed with them.

The weekend continued as it started – full of sunshine, warm temps and time to catch up with some dear old friends (including Michelle). It was the perfect crescendo to our first year of marriage. I look forward to many, many more anniversary celebrations with my best friend and partner, Ryan.

P.S. On the topic of anniversaries, today happens to be the day my parents married 39 years ago! Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad!

Tagged as: fairhope al, Love, relationships, the grand hotel